Common Parenting Mistakes
Bahut se parents sochte hain ki bache ka gussa kerna badtameezi hoti hai, lekin science is bare me kya kehti hia?
hum samajhte hai ki bacche ka gussa unki badtaameezi hai lekin iske peeche science hai. Pehle hame ye janna chaiiye
agar koe parent apne bacho ko guusse me daant de to hai or wo rona band ker dete haii
— lekin . Aaj mujhe pata hai us din galti uski nh th, par meri thi
Sunita ke 5 saal ke bete Rohan ka harrozka routine tha — ki wo school se wapas aker apne bag ko phennk ke , rona lgta tha, jbki iske peeche koi reason bh nh tha
Khaana nahi khana, TV nahi dekhna, kuch bhi nahi. Bas rona aur pareshan krna yahi kerta tha
Teen mahine Sunita ne har tarah ki try kra ,apne bete ko pyaar se samjhaya, Daanta. use uski favorite candy di. uske sath game khelne ki bhi kosish ki . par Kuch sahi nahi hua. Har roz ek hi scene. Phir ek din sunita ne ek child psychologist ka article padha — aur use sab samajh me a gaya.
Har bache Ka Brain Alag Hota Hai — Aur Yeh Excuse Nahi,blki Science Hai
Hum adults bilkul galat sochte hain ki — bache ko gussa aa raha hai, toh woh “control” kar sakta hai agar chahey. Hum use kuch science ke facts ke according samajh sakte hai
Science Fact 1
Prefrontal Cortex — Average human ka 25 saal mein complete hota hai.
Brain ka woh part jo emotions control karta hai, sochta hai, rokta hai — woh “Prefrontal Cortex” hai. Hum adults mein yeh develop ho jata hai 25 saal ki age tak par Bache mein aisa nahi hota. Yeh 25 saal ki umar tak poora nahi banta. Matlab Rohan jab chillata ya rota hai — woh literally apna gussa aur emotiones control karne mein physically active nahi hai. Woh “natak” nahi kar raha — uska brain abhi processing mein hai.
Science Fact 2
After-School Restraint Collapse
Researchers ne isko naam diya hai — “After-School Restraint Collapse.” School mein bache poora din apne emotions contol krte hain — teacher ke saamne Discipline rkhna , dosto ke saamne rona nahi, sabhi rules follow karna. Yeh sab bacho ko mentally pressurized karta hai. Ghar aate hi woh “safe” feel karte hain — aur sare emotiones bahar aa jaata hai. Rohan ghar aake isliye nahi rota or chillata kyunki ghar mein discipline nahi — woh isliye rota hai kyunki ghar pe woh khud ko safe .ahssoos karta hai isliye wo khud ko rok nahi paata.
Research kehti hai: jo baccha ghar pe sabse zyada ‘misbehave’ karte hai, woh aapke saath sabse zyada safe feel karte hai. Yeh aapki nakamj nahi blki aapki safalta hai.
“Jab mujhe samjh aya ki Rohan school mein poora din khud ko control kar raha hota hai mere liye — kyunki woh jaanta hai ki ghar aake main usse handle kar lungi — toh mujhe rona a gaya. Itna trust kiya usne mujh par aur main usse ‘badtameez’ hi samajhti rahi.”
— Sunita, Pune
Toh Sunita Ne
sirf ek cheez badli. Rohan ke School se aane ke baad 20 minute — koi sawaal nahi pucha, koi lecture nahi, koi rule reminder nahi. Bas saath baitha kar Juice deya. Haath pakda
Pehle din Rohan hairan tha. Or Doosre din usne khud se bag rakha. Teesre din woh bola — “Mamma, aaj teacher ne mujhe daanta.” Aur phir dono ne baat ki shanti se, pyaar se.
Aap Bhi Kya Kar Sakte Hain — 4 Kaam Jo Actually Kaam Aate Hain
01
“Decompression time” do — school se aane ke bad hi 15-20 min bina kisi question ke. Snack do, saath baith kar, TV chalane do. Koi Sawal nahi. Yeh window unhe recharge karti hai.
02
Gusse ke waqt nahi samjhao — is halat mein brain kuch bh nahi sunta. Pehle shant hone do. Phir samjhao. “Pehle thanda, phir baat” — yeh niyam yaad rakhein.
03
Unki feeling ko naam do — “Lagta hai aaj school mein kuch bura hua hai” ya “Tum bahut tired lagte ho” — yeh chhoti si baat bacche ko feel karwati hai ki ap use samjh gaye. Aur woh apne emotiones share karta hai.
04
Hume Apna gussa nahi dikhana hai unke gusse pe — do toofaan ek saath nahi bujhte. Ek ko pehle samajhna padega — aur woh responsibility humari hai, unki nahi. kyuki Hum adult hain.
“Rohan ab bhi gussa or pareshan hota hai — kyuki woh baccha hai, hoga hi. Lekin ab Sunita use dant ti nahi. kyuki use pata j hai — yeh tootna nahi, yeh bharosa hai. Aur trust ko handle karna seekh liya hai usne.”
Kya aapke bache bhi ghar aake chillate ya rote hain? comment down — aur agar lagta hai kisi aur parents ko yeh padhna chahiye, toh unse share zaroor karein. Ek share ek family badal sakta hai.